How to Deal with Jealousy in a Relationship
Jealousy in a relationship is one of the main reasons for breakups. You may feel insecure. It is normal to feel jealous, but things get worse when your possessiveness can lead to relationship distress. A little bit of jealousy is totally fine but over time those thoughts become severe. You start to doubt your loved ones. A mutual trust is essential to maintain the relationship. Therefore you need to know the causes of jealousy and ways to deal with it.
Signs of Jealousy in a Relationship
Some common signs of jealousy in a relationship.
- Expecting your partner to spend all the time with you
- Suspicions
- Accusing false allegations towards your partner
- Being emotionally intense
- Being competitive
- Checking your partner’s phone and email without permission
Causes of Jealousy in a Relationship
A person who struggles with jealousy may respond with fear, anger, doubt, pain, grief and sense of failure.
There are many reasons of jealousy, including:
- Fear of betrayal
- Poor self-image
- Fear of losing someone
- Over possessiveness
- Hurtful past experiences
- Unrealistic expectations of a partner
- Past misbehaviours of a partner
Ways to deal with jealousy in relationships
List your insecurities
Listing your triggers is a good way to deal with jealousy. Follow a journal diary and note down which things make you insecure. A journal is a safe place for you no one will judge you about your insecurities and frustrations. Writing down your thoughts helps to identify triggers.
Work on building up your self-confidence
After identifying your triggers of insecurities working on self-confidence is one of the best ways to deal with jealousy. The root of some jealousy cases can be you not feeling confident with yourself. You should boost your self-confidence through convincing yourself with reassuring words that reflect truly who you are and through bettering those sides that you think you can improve. By boosting your confidence, you will have less crises over jealousy.
Express your feelings with your partner
Good communication is one the most important things in any relationship. Share your emotions freely and honestly with your partner. Express how you feel when something you don’t like.
Example “I don’t like the way you talk to her”
“I feel insecure around your friends”
If you acknowledge your insecurities, your partner can help you to find some solution.
Avoid unnecessary comparisons
Don’t compare yourself or your relationship to others. Comparisons can make your relationship worse. So there is no need to compare ourselves with people around him/her in a rational way. The comparison is meaningless while the love stays between the couples. It’s also important not to try to compete with your partner. This could be in terms of things like possessions, appearance, or even intelligence. Trying to one-up each other will only create tension and strain in the relationship.
Trust your partner
Be supportive. If you’re feeling jealous, it might make you think about some unrealistic situations. Instead of making an argument try to focus on building up trust. Listen to your partner, give them space when they need it. Build a good understanding, instead of doubting him.
Build healthy coping skills
When you can’t control yourselves and overthink, try to cope with jealousy in healthy ways. It can happen due to your overthinking habits or having so much free time at hand that you often find yourself letting your imagination loose over some negative scenarios with him/her and the people around. Being patient can help you a lot in this aspect. You can try practising mindfulness as well. Whatever you do, don’t treat your partner unfairly.
Seek couples’ therapy
After trying all the possible ways to overcome your jealousy, yet still struggling with it. You should visit therapists. Therapists can help you to understand the root of your problem and your relationship’s problem. They can support and can give you proper guidance to get rid of this difficult time.
Track your progress and overcome your insecurities with your partner. Being honest with each other about your feelings can help you to overcome these tough times.
Jealousy is an important indicator, do not ignore or repress it!
It can help you to protect your partner and fight for your relationship.
What’s more, it can actually bring you and your partner closer together, strengthen the trust and deepen your emotional bond.
