Emotional Invalidation

Emotional invalidation is the process of denying, rejecting, judging, blaming, doubting and minimizing your own or someone’s feelings and experiences. 

Emotional invalidation can make you feel confused and irrational. It can take many forms and happen at any time. Sometimes people are unable to understand their own or other’s emotions. Even some people invalidate intentionally to manipulate others. 

Invalidation might sounds like : 

• Feelings are to be fixed
• You shouldn’t feel or think that
• Avoid feeling and look “at the bright side”
• You make a big deal out of everything
• I don’t see the problem
• Just let it go
• Feelings should be only comfortable and happy and we don’t tolerate others or our diverse feelings.
• You’re overreacting

Invalidation You may have experienced :

Rejecting thoughts 

When your thoughts, feelings and actions are invalidated by others it communicates to you that your internal experience is not OK. This can lead to feelings of shame and rejection of your authentic self and also contribute to you second-guessing your own internal experiences.

Not paying attention while talking

When you share your experiences or feelings with your closest one, your emotions are ignored or punished but sometimes they get your attention. So you learn that your experiences are wrong but you’ll get support when emotions are extreme.

Growing up around invalidation leads to feelings of shame for feeling how we feel, for not achieving our goals, for experiencing challenges, and confusion about how we “should” be.

If you invalidate someone unknowingly use these statements which I mentioned below :

Say	Instead of
“I hear you.”	“You shouldn’t feel that way.
“I understand.”	“Get over it.”
“I feel you.”.	“I’m not having this discussion.”
“I know you are upset. How can I support you?”	“It’s not a big deal. I don’t know why you’re upset.”
Feelings deserve space	Feelings are to be fixed

Learn how to validate someone’s emotions and validate yourself.

Don’t forget to love yourself. Happy reading! 🙂